Sell, Sell, Sell-C'mon August 30th

The Braves have been so abysmal to watch and follow over the past month that I have not been able to stomach making a post about them. I have continued to follow them with the vigor I always do but it has been brutal. This past weekend and last night were all just awful.

Story of the season-Every good player we have has been hurt and Jeff Franceour is an absolute head-case. I have supported him and wanted to love him as a player but he consistently shows he is a hard-headed moron with the approach he takes at the plate. He is the new Andruw Jones...except with less of an upside. I hope one day to have to retract my statements about him but I don't see it happening. His attitude about being sent down to the minors last month said it all-he thinks he's too cool for school. Newsflash Jeff-you aren't.

As far as what to do from here I am hoping and praying the Braves get rid of Tex by the trade deadline that is fastly approaching. For one, we won't be re-signing him at the end of the year anyway and secondly, I can unleash my charicature of him called 'Big Bi Tex'. Although I don't particularly care for Tex and don't know what has gone on behind closed doors, I will say I am also not particularly enchanted with our new GM Frank Wren. With the money freed up from Hampton and Glavine at the end of the season with Smoltz also a major 'if' for next year, why did he not take a shot at Tex for maybe 5-6 years at $18-20 million. I know Tex said he wasn't talking about it during the season, but I guarantee you he would've listened if they came and offered him a contract like that. Again, that may have happened but it doesn't seem like it when you listen to Frank Wren-and that my friends, is not good general managing.
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Anyway, I am getting more and more geared up for football season and the beloved Georgia Bulldogs. I am staying cautiously pessimistic about the season thus far and am glad I have. It appears quite a few 'die-hard' fans have been upset by the recent 'disses' to the Dawgs in the media with predicitions and preseason teams. Being a seasoned fan, I knew better than to get caught up and this and saved myself the frustration.

Bottom line: UGA will have a good team, don't know how good. People shouldn't expect
things to be that much different, same coaches as in years past and a lot of talent. I hope I'm surprised but I don't expect to be impressed early in the season. I imagine Martinez's defense will be tentative early as always and the offensive playcalling will be questioned. People will be upset about why Stafford and Moreno aren't putting up the big numbers. My hope is that we can get by early games w/ USC and Arizona State and be hitting our stride by Alabama weekend.

Even thinking about the national championship right now is a stretch. But I think to legitimately have a shot we need to be heading into the LSU game without a loss. Not that its impossible to go undefeated from that point in the season; but chances are you are going to lose a game when playing LSU, Florida, and Auburn away from Sanford Stadium over 4 weeks.

And finally...

I would love the opportunity to get locked into a room, cage, car, etc. w/ Urban Meyer, and not like when him and Tebow get together. I want to 'tear his nuts off'*.

*Quote taken from Jesse Jackson

Bucky Covington

They say lightning doesn't strike twice. Whoever 'they' are is wrong b/c it has recently. I have an interview I'm ready to share with another 'American Idol' heartthrob. I sat down with Bucky Covington recently and here is how it went.

L: What's up Bucky, thanks for sitting down with me.
B: No problemo esse, anything for the fans.
L: I notice you have an affinity for spanish, are you fluent?
B: Actually yeah, you got any beer?
L: What?
B: You asked about fluid and yeah, I'm thirsty, I'd like some-preferably in beer form.
L: Oh okay...here's a Miller Lite, all I've got...
B: Mother F***in right, you know they won the beer cup like 4 times or some sh*t.
L: Yeah, I know
B: Well, ain't that some sh*t. You know, I love when America wins sh*t. It's like
the rest of the world just has to sit back and watch, ya know. Like 'hey, we're the
best and we just showed you again', ya know.
L: Sure, well do you mind if I ask some questions?
B: Naw man, it's my mother f***in pleasure, shoot em up cowboy.
L: Ok, how's the career going now for you?
B: Pretty good man, I swear its like a dream. Except I ain't woke up yet and it keeps going. Its like this dream I had as a kid. I used to watch 'Saved by the Bell' and I would dream about Kelly Kapowski at night. In my dream I'd be like a cooler Zack, ya know. Except no PG sh*t. I'd be knocking the p**** out in the locker room, Mr. Belding's office, in the Max on the juke-box, I mean everywhere. And it was like the dream went all night, needless to say it was a sticky time in the sack, ya know.
L: Got it, so you're saying your career is going amazingly well. Speaking of ladies, how are you doing in that department?
B: Same old, a few hotter pieces now than before. I don't 'scriminate against p***y, just not how I was raised. I get them eyes, ya know where you see a b***h's eyes sparkling or some sh*t, and that's it, I'm all in that. Now I've just noticed the faces can be a little easier to look at but whatever, p***y's p****y and I'll always get it.
L: Lucky man, you keep up with anybody from A.I. anymore?
B: Oh yeah man, Daughtry and me are practically brothers. Can I get another beer.
L: Yeah...here (hand another beer).
B: Anyhoo, me and 'ole C.F.D., ya know Chris F***in Daughtry, are solid. I can't really say too many stories 'cause he's married and sh*t, ya know. All I can say is we talk every single day, we go out whenever we're together, just brother sh*t. I've actually started calling my d*ck Daughtry. Chicks dig it dude, its like 'hey, you want me to put Daughtry in you?'. They're all like ''f*** yeah' Bucky', so I do.
L: You're a trip man, I was kind of hoping to keep this more about career and some
more 'family-friendly' stuff but that seems tough w/ you. What can you tell me that's I can actually use?
B: You sound like you could use some d*ck, you f***in p***y.
L: Real nice Buck
B: Dude, go to hell. I've got my fans, I ain't got to sit down or change for no man. I am who I am and is who I is, ya know. You just tell people Bucky F***in Covington is the realest Mother F***er on the planet and you got to chill with him and have a couple beers. You got 'dat, esse.
L: Si, thank you so much for your time, I guess we'll cut this short.
B: See what you little b***h?
L: Nothing man, thanks for your time.

Back and Better than Ever

I've been away on vacation and have had other issues keeping me away from this fantastic blog, but I return...

Not much has changed with our beloved Braves; Frenchy went and came back and who knows if anything will change, more folks got hurt, and we're still in 4th place.
There is a lot to talk about with the Braves but I will wait until the All-Star Break to better gather my thoughts.

And now I will delve into the hilarity of last weekend:

'Hurricane Corky' hit Atlanta this past weekend. Here's a Summary.
-Gets severely intoxicated alone at 3:30 in the afternoon at an 'On the Border'.
-Rents a hotel room and goes bowling only to wake up in the morning with no idea
where his car is.
-Performing a 'Superman' from the song 'Crank That' in the hotel the prior night
-Mixing drinks with actual juice from a watermelon all day on the 4th of July and
becoming quite intoxicated
-Having the same girl from the prior night over, he now refers to her as his
'girlfriend'.
-Nearly popping an air mattress twice w/ his new girl
-Performing chair jumping tricks at a local pool the next afternoon
-Harassing Astros' outfielder Hunter Pence in every at-bat at the Braves game,
Pence went 0-4
-Nearly reaches 3rd base in the backseat of his own car in front of 2 friends on
the drive home
-Having relations behind a bush in an apartment complex parking lot-15 feet away
a father and son were lighting sparklers
-Having relations in a room and having 3 friends walk in on him, he does not stop or
even get embarrassed

And thus is Corky...

A man with no match.