Brook

While watching Sunday football this past weekend, my associates and I noticed the ever-declining play of Falcons linebacker Keith Brooking. If you were to ever take the time to sit and watch an entire Falcons game, you would notice that he contributes absolutely nothing to the team on the field. I know he is a little older, on the down side of his career, and used to be a good/very good player; but that doesn't matter...the man went to GA Tech. And for that, he has become the subject of ridicule and now a new segment. However, it should be noted that some of the jokes might be compliments-we do like our character even though he isn't very good at football.

I cannot and will not take full credit for this, it is a ripped off idea from the Chuck Norris jokes made famous in recent years. Matt T and Corky also join me in creating these thoughts, ideas, and jokes. I figure we'll continue to come up with these throughout the season but just wanted to get a few out there for public enjoyment. Bare in mind this is not contrived with any disrespect to the actual Keith Brooking, it is just a character of Keith Brooking we see as we watch on Sunday. I hear he is a model human being and a helluva nice guy.

Warning: This may be moderately to extraordinarily vulgar. If this is a problem for you, stop reading now. When the name Keith Brooking appears from here on out, it is in reference to the character-not the football player or the man.

-When Keith Brooking makes a tackle, God gets a migraine
-Keith Brooking makes the entire defense watch him masturbate before each game
-Keith Brooking invented the game 'Limp Biscuit'
-Keith Brooking masturbates with Icy Hot
-Keith Brooking is a verb
-Keith Brooking gave birth to himself
-Keith Brooking has a landing strip
-Every offensive player in the NFL is on birth control because each of them is acutely aware that at some point in the season Keith Brooking will f*ck them up
-Keith Brooking doesn't drive a truck, he is one
-Keith Brooking teaches Pilates at halftime
-Keith Brooking is the World's premier 'Pop-n-Lock' dancer
-Keith Brooking has a green thumb
-Keith Brooking majored in p*ssy at GA Tech
-If Keith Brooking was blind, he could still see
-Keith Brooking once had sex with an Elk just to prove he could
-Keith Brooking penned the original script for 'The Karate Kid'
-Keith Brooking counts a leprechaun among his friends
-Keith Brooking wipes his ass with opposing quarterbacks
-Keith Brooking was President in 1947
-On this day in 1980, Keith Brooking was a bad ass

And we will close with the same one every time....

-Keith Brooking is Keith Brooking

And now for a little humor

Look at this f*cking picture. Is this dude serious? Does he look at himself in the mirror and think he looks good? Is he thinking he's sexy with that seductive look?

The answer to those questions is yes and in case you aren't aware:

His name is Camillo Villegas. He is a Spanish immigrant who is a Florida Gator. His current occupation is Professional Golfer. He wears tight and hideous clothing. He seems not to believe in Shampoo or any type of hair cleaning product.

Week 5

"Black-out Saturday" quickly became "Black Saturday" just after 8 pm on Saturday night. The first half was a shocking display of dominance by Alabama and an absolute horror to see for UGA fans. I will not be watching a replay of this game to gather my thoughts or attempt to analyze what happened, emotionally I cannot take it.

I can't bear to look at pictures of the game so no picture for this week's wrap-up.

Alabama is very good and deserves all the credit for their win but I still feel UGA is a top 5 team in contention for the National Championship. We knew going into this season that going undefeated probably wasn't going to happen. Well, we lost a game and yes...the first half was worse than anyone could have dreamed. However, we won the 2nd half convincingly and I promise you-the coaches of Alabama DO NOT want to see us again.

The most concerning/distressing thing for me in the game was our lack of defensive intensity in the first half. I hope Willie Martinez finally realizes now that we are not going to be successful sitting back in zone coverage against teams that have talent. After the debacle in the first half I think we got aggressive and pinned our ears back and went after Alabama; but too little, too late.

Did we get dominated on the line of scrimmage in the first half? Yes
Did we look terrible on both sides of the ball in the first half? Yes

However, the 2nd half was better in many regards. I've already written more about the game than I wanted to, this is one of those that will be discarded into the 'forget about it' tank.

We've got 2 weeks to re-group and get back after it. Hell, we win the next 4 weeks and I assure you we are right back in this thing. Things are not as bad as pessimists think right now, positive energy will revive this thing.

Week 4

Going out to beat Arizona State to was kind of like having to ace an addition test on a Monday morning after being drunk all weekend, it is only tough because of the circumstances.

UGA was clearly the better team on Saturday night and would be on any night against the Sun Devils, but the fact that we traveled across the country to do it made it more impressive. This was, as Coach Richt described, a 'business trip'. The Dawgs definitely took care of business.

The Dawgs came out slow offensively but the defense showed early and often that Arizona State was not going to be able to run the ball. Rennie Curran played outstanding once again, showing his uncanny knack to move laterally with the play and then explode to the ball to make a stop. I was very impressed with the defensive line as well, the got solid pressure on Carpenter all night and racked up 4 sacks.

On offense, AJ Green made it official, he is a bad man. He made a couple of beautiful catches across the middle which really kept two of UGA's 2nd quarter scoring drives going. Stafford was excellent as usual, I can't imagine ever saying anything to the contrary. He threw all over Arizona State and as usual, would have had even better numbers if people could stay on their feet or catch. Knowshon...what can I say? His first touchdown was simply an amazing athletic feat. Taking off from the 4 yard line to land a yard + deep in the end-zone, are you serious Knowshown? Do we need to get you a cape? Also, Moreno should've had 3 TD's, the refs screwed him on one in the 4th quarter.

Speaking of the refs...I hate to be the guy to cry about officiating but for heaven's sakes, they were terrible. Granted we made too many mistakes and did commit some dumb and costly penalties, but they made numerous questionable calls and missed a number of infractions committed by Arizona State. I saw a number of blatant holds by Arizona State that were not called. One in particular was on 2nd down and goal on AZ State's first drive of the second half. They ran a screen pass out right and their receiver blocking had his arms completely extended with a fist full of jersey. If that call was made, they likely end up having to kick a field goal instead of scoring a touchdown on 3rd and goal from the 2 yard line. Anyway, it doesn't matter I guess. We won, we dominated, we were better, and so on and so forth.

And now the fun part starts. A blackout in Sanford Stadium for a night game against a Top 10 opponent. Alabama has looked good, they are very strong and powerful on their offensive and defensive lines. UGA will have to play very well to win and I expect them to do just that. I heard Mark Richt addressing the team and coaches on Saturday night after the game. He talked about going all out for one week, everybody just toughing it out for 7 days with their best effort to get ready for Alabama. For some reason, the energy of him and in the room put me at ease. I am calm and feel we will play well and win fairly handily on Saturday night.

One final thought: Being that everyone knows Saturday is a blackout and that the team will wear black jerseys-is it kosher to berate and belittle any UGA fan not wearing black?

Love you Larry

So it appears the legend has called his final game for our beloved Dawgs. The voice we have all associated with Saturdays in Georgia will no longer be heard and there are no words to describe how much he will be missed. We will always remember ‘Oh you Herschel Walker’, to ‘Run, Lindsay, Run’, to ‘Picking up our heart and putting it back in our chest’, to ‘Stomping their face with a hobnail boot’. Life is too short and we knew it was inevitable but it doesn’t make it any easier to know he has called his final game. I will drink a beer for you tonight Larry and I promise after we beat Florida this year I will destroy some property in your honor.

God Bless you Larry.

Why?

These guys are big stars? Just look at them, are you kidding me? Oh wait, they also are all virgins and have vowed to remain chaste until marriage. I'm all for people following their own personal beliefs and committing to their own goals, etc. but are they serious? Granted I have no idea how or why they are stars but the fact remains, they are. If you are that big a star and have all kinds of teenage ass at your disposal, you've got to drop the virgin thing. You only live once, you can behave when you're older. These dudes should be filling up sleeve like a foot fills a sock, they are idiots. The worst part is, once their 15 minutes are up, they will again be 5'2" douche bags whose only talent is to play the skin flute. Way to go fellas, great life decisions.

Week 3

It could not have been a more typical UGA-USC matchup than what we got on Saturday. A lot of good defense, a lot of missed opportunities, and a low-scoring game where the outcome was in question until the end. While I had hoped that this would be a coming out party for our offense against a quality opponent, it wasn't meant to be.
Unfortunately we left ourselves with too many tough 3rd down conversions to really put together a solid rhythm. I blame the offensive issues on:
1. South Carolina's defense: Clearly those outside the SEC don't agree but I'd say they are a top 15 defense in the nation, probably top 10.
2. Mike Bobo: Worst game he's called since last year's Kentucky game. I don't
want to completely say it was him though since Stafford has so much freedom at
the line, but there were a few real bad play calls. (QB draw from the 6 on 3rd
down ring a bell?)
3. Tripp Chandler: His dropped pass on the first drive for UGA cost the Dawgs at
least 3, if not 7 points. He had another 3rd down drop later in the 1st, it
was highly frustrating. Others dropped passes-this isn't a bash fest on
Chandler, but I wouldn't be being honest about my game thoughts without
mentioning him.

However, we still fought hard and our defense played fantastic to keep us in the game and take us to 3-0. I thought Rashad Jones looked fantastic all day, I found it fitting that he would be the one to make the final pick to end it. Rennie showed again why he is the man with his forced fumble on the 1 to keep UGA ahead 14-7 in the
4th. The D-Line was good against the run but we've got to get more pressure on the QB without having to blitz. I'm sure that will be a point of emphasis going forward.

All in all, a SEC win is something to celebrate. Everyone will play close games during the season, we just had one sooner than the media darlings USC and Oklahoma. I think the intensity of that game and the fact that we did not play anywhere near what is expected will bring a sense of urgency to the team that otherwise would not exist. I now expect full focus against Arizona State and I really think we win by 17 + points out there. Then we come home and should put a whooping on Alabama, I think Saban will again be embarrassed in Sanford Stadium as he was in '04 with LSU. Certainly the Dawgs have some areas of concern and some issues to address but there's no need for panic just yet. A good couple of games in the next 2 weeks will get us right back where we need to be.

You Suck Clark Meyer

Below is an article from today's AJC that got my blood boiling. Does anyone have any sense of personal responsibility anymore? Has the concept that sometimes, bad things just happen without anyone being to blame, ceased to exist? I hope Crocs wins the case and counter sues against this human douchebag CLARK MEYER. I hope you, CLARK MEYER, burn in hell. Well maybe that's a little harsh, but you know what I mean.

$2 million sought in Crocs lawsuit
Company sued after child’s shoe is caught in airport escalator
By KATHY JEFCOATS

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

The maker of Colorado-based Crocs is being sued over a July escalator accident at the Atlanta airport involving a child wearing the popular resin clogs.

Clark Meyer, the father of a boy identified in Federal Court filings as “A.M.,” wants $2 million for the injuries suffered by his son on an escalator at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport.

Meyer alleges his son was “severely and permanently injured” when the Croc shoe on his right foot was caught in an airport escalator July 15. Photos accompanying the filing show injuries to the boy’s first three toes and a mangled pair of gray Crocs.

Meyer further alleges that the company became aware of the danger to children wearing the shoes in 2005, the same year it began marketing the popular clogs to the younger set.

Crocs officials have denied their shoes caused injuries and instead cast blame on the wearers and faulty escalators. Company spokeswoman Tia Mattson did not immediately return a call for comment on the latest suit.

Wait, Really?

I'm not so sure this is a good idea, Sun Devils.

Week 2

Another week, another impressive UGA victory.

Central Michigan is not a bad football team but UGA was the far superior team on Saturday. We came out strong again w/ Stafford and the offense looking very sharp and continued moving the ball consistently all day. Knowshown again looked fantastic and picked up 3 more TD's to bring him to 6 through just 2 games. I doubt he will win the Heisman Trophy but if he keeps this kind of play up he will definitely be in New York for the ceremony. His vision and quickness are an absolute treat to watch, every time he touches the ball its all 'oohs and aahs'. I was also quite impressed w/ Mo-Mass, he made a great adjustment on his first TD catch to come back to the ball and turned on the speed on his 2nd. Having a 'go-to' receiver will be a major comfort for Stafford in tight games later on down the line.

The defense was again solid this week. I wouldn't call it a spectacular effort but we held a good offense to less than 20 points. I felt Martinez called a very conservative game again and in my opinion it was too conservative at times. We seemed to be in a lot of zone coverage against lesser athletes-that never makes sense, but we won and probably didn't show too much so I won't complain. I think we'll know a lot more about our defense in 2 weeks after facing a decent SEC opponent and an upper-echelon PAC 10 team. I pray that we blitz the living hell out of USC next week and just play man outside. I don't think any of USC's QB's will be able to consistently get the ball out on time or accurately if we bring the heat.

And now it feels as if our season is truly beginning. No more cupcakes, every team we play from here on out could potentially beat us if we do not show up. 10 games in 12 weeks will decide whether or not this will be a season to remember. I anticipate we will start strong in game 1 on Saturday afternoon vs. USC, I envision a quasi-blowout with us putting up somewhere around 40 points.

Picture of the Day

Keeping it real: Lighting a cigarette off of a candle on your 100th birthday cake.

Politics of the Day

I was skeptical...

Now I am not.

John McCain selected a conservative, female version of Barack Obama to be his running mate. Her confident, well-delivered speech was something of sheer beauty. She was able to take the criticism of her experience and turn it around to show she has more than Obama (which she does). She blasted Obama for past statements and terrible ideas he has for our country. McCain has gotten himself an attack dog who will be nipping at Obama every chance she gets.

Here's Joe Biden today discussing his upcoming debate with Mrs. Palin:

"When we debate -- and, boy, she's going to be a tough debater, she's going to be a skillful debater -- I'm going to try to talk about the differences of our worldview here and what we're going to do for the country," he said.

"If it's going to get down to who can deliver the toughest lines, then she's going to win the debate," Biden added.

Newsflash to Joe D. Biden (D for Dumbass)-What people remember about debates is great lines with substance. She's going to mop the floor with your old, wrinkly ass.

My point in all this is that since McCain has gotten himself a sharp, well-spoken VP to attack Obama, he can focus more on issues and stay somewhat above the fray. Obama will not have the same luxury; he will have to respond directly if he is to win this election because his running mate is a bumbling wimp.

Full Disclosure: I still am unsure if I will vote for McCain or Bob Barr, I just know that I am not a socialist. Barack Obama essentially is socialist on many issues and Joe Biden is the epitome of a weak liberal and has been for years. I couldn't care less that he knows a lot about foreign policy, doesn't mean he knows the right thing to do and how to handle situations. Basically, its not so much that I love Republicans... I just hate stupid, weak, liberal democrats and that is what 90% of that party has become.

Week 1

Well, the season finally got here and the Dawgs took care of GA Southern as we expected. I've read/heard mixed reviews of the game. Some are positive and focus on our 38-0 lead; others are negative and focus on the fact that we gave up 21 points. I tend to lean toward a positive feeling from week one, but that's just me.

Tickets were few and far between for the game on Saturday; in my 20+ years of attending games I have never seen so few tickets available. I've also never not gotten into a game I went to Athens to see, 2 firsts I hope to never repeat. The fact that UGA was a pre-season #1, playing an in-state opponent, and the game not being shown on TV may have played a factor in the lack of tickets. I certainly hope those were the reasons, I fear that this may become a regular occurrence but I'll be positive and hope that is not the case.

Regardless, I was able to watch the replay of the game last night and I took a lot of positives away from the game. I think Matthew Stafford looked like a different man, almost every throw was perfect and his audibles and play calls at the line seemed to be flawless. Knowshon was Knowshon-he only had 10 touches but had over 100 total yards and 3 TDs. AJ Green looked like a young Randy Moss: tall, lean, athletic, and aggressive. Caleb King also had a good first showing, runs a lot like Knowshon-never a bad thing. On defense I thought we looked good as well. Obviously the loss of Jeff Owens is going to be a test but I thought the young rotation of players filled in nicely and got a lot of pressure inside on both running and passing plays. The 'dynamic duo' of Curran and Ellerbe looked like a force to be reckoned with-I can see CBS drumming up some stupid nickname for them at some point this season. The secondary also looked good-hard hitting safety play with good aggressive corners; I was particularly impressed w/ Jones and Evans.

Finally, I was very impressed w/ Blair Walsh. He seems to be confident and knocking down a 50+ yard field goal in his first game is a great sign for the future. I'm sure we'll need him to be clutch if we are to make a run at the SEC/National Title.

Looking forward, I think it is important to build off the performance of our offense and put up a big number against Central Michigan this week. I think it will be equally important to allow fewer points to build some confidence moving into the USC game in 2 weeks. All in all, I really couldn't be more pleased with our week one performance. Richt isn't going to run up the score on people; we got some good work in and let a lot of young guys play.

P.S.

I'm not mentioning the rankings, I know we dropped to #2-who cares.