Brook

While watching Sunday football this past weekend, my associates and I noticed the ever-declining play of Falcons linebacker Keith Brooking. If you were to ever take the time to sit and watch an entire Falcons game, you would notice that he contributes absolutely nothing to the team on the field. I know he is a little older, on the down side of his career, and used to be a good/very good player; but that doesn't matter...the man went to GA Tech. And for that, he has become the subject of ridicule and now a new segment. However, it should be noted that some of the jokes might be compliments-we do like our character even though he isn't very good at football.

I cannot and will not take full credit for this, it is a ripped off idea from the Chuck Norris jokes made famous in recent years. Matt T and Corky also join me in creating these thoughts, ideas, and jokes. I figure we'll continue to come up with these throughout the season but just wanted to get a few out there for public enjoyment. Bare in mind this is not contrived with any disrespect to the actual Keith Brooking, it is just a character of Keith Brooking we see as we watch on Sunday. I hear he is a model human being and a helluva nice guy.

Warning: This may be moderately to extraordinarily vulgar. If this is a problem for you, stop reading now. When the name Keith Brooking appears from here on out, it is in reference to the character-not the football player or the man.

-When Keith Brooking makes a tackle, God gets a migraine
-Keith Brooking makes the entire defense watch him masturbate before each game
-Keith Brooking invented the game 'Limp Biscuit'
-Keith Brooking masturbates with Icy Hot
-Keith Brooking is a verb
-Keith Brooking gave birth to himself
-Keith Brooking has a landing strip
-Every offensive player in the NFL is on birth control because each of them is acutely aware that at some point in the season Keith Brooking will f*ck them up
-Keith Brooking doesn't drive a truck, he is one
-Keith Brooking teaches Pilates at halftime
-Keith Brooking is the World's premier 'Pop-n-Lock' dancer
-Keith Brooking has a green thumb
-Keith Brooking majored in p*ssy at GA Tech
-If Keith Brooking was blind, he could still see
-Keith Brooking once had sex with an Elk just to prove he could
-Keith Brooking penned the original script for 'The Karate Kid'
-Keith Brooking counts a leprechaun among his friends
-Keith Brooking wipes his ass with opposing quarterbacks
-Keith Brooking was President in 1947
-On this day in 1980, Keith Brooking was a bad ass

And we will close with the same one every time....

-Keith Brooking is Keith Brooking